We all experience some level of distress and upheaval during divorce, and why wouldn’t you feel those things? Your life is moving at 100mph and you feel out of control, you have no idea what will happen next or how you will handle it. You begin to get anxious. Well guess what? Under normal amounts of stress, your brain would be able to remember other times you faced challenges in your life and how you were able to get through them successfully.
During divorce, when it feels like every decision you make has enormous consequences, your brain simply doesn’t have time to remember all the times you have dealt with hardship before, or that you were still ok when it was over. This is a main contributor to that feeling of upheaval and unease that we can experience when going through a divorce. Journaling is an easy way to ease some of these feelings and help you create the vision of your life the way YOU want it.
The process of writing is helpful in several ways:
> Journaling can help you process your past [or present, or future]
Sometimes just writing it out can help you see a solution you didn’t see before, or look at a situation differently.
> You will get all your feelings out.
Writing out your feelings can clear your mind and help you feel more calm. Sometimes our brains are so overwhelmed we don’t even know what we think! Getting your thoughts out of your head and on paper can provide clarity.
> Writing and looking back on what you wrote can reveal patterns in your thinking.
Once you are aware of your thought patterns, you can reflect on what they mean and how you might change them if they are not serving you.
> You can use your writing to change your story.
If you are stuck in negative self-talk patterns, use your writing to reframe your opinions about yourself. This is where ‘I could never do that because I have no idea how to…’ becomes ‘I don’t know how to do X, but I can certainly learn!”
If you feel stuck and don’t know what to write about, here are some prompts to help you out.
- What are the biggest problems I’m facing because of the divorce?
- What has surprised me the most about surviving divorce?
- What new realities has this divorce forced me to see?
- How have my priorities changed because of this divorce?
- What is my biggest obstacle to healing?
- What can I do to get past this obstacle?
- How have my priorities changed because of this divorce?
- Make a list of things that bring a smile to your face.
- What are the five things you would like to do more of?
- What do you love about yourself?
- What are you learning about yourself?
- What do you need to be content?
- What have you accomplished that you didn’t know you could do on your own?
- If you could change one thing about your home, what would it be?
- Where do you see opportunities for improvement in your life?
- What’s one way you would like to grow in the next year?
- What’s one thing you dream about doing?
- Write down 10 ways you are going to take care of yourself going forward.
- Be your own best friend and write a letter to yourself telling yourself precisely what you need to hear.
- What do I want my life to be like 3 years from now? 5 years from now?
Thoughts to finish in your journal:
- I’m looking forward to…
- I want to hold on to…
- I want to let go of…
- My new purpose in life is…
- I have a dream to…
Beyond surviving divorce, journaling can be an awesome way to blossom in your life! It’s time to rebuild and reimagine life after divorce.
Are you ready to feel joy again, reclaim your independence, and chart a path toward healing and recovery? I would love to help you as you take those steps.
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