It’s almost 2022. You are facing a new year full of possibilities and maybe some scary stuff, too! I have been there for sure! If you are going through a divorce, are recently divorced, or are even contemplating divorce [which many many people do following the holidays–see this article in the Chicago Tribune for more information], you will feel better all around if you have a plan in place for how you will tackle the new year. If you then put that vision into action, you will come out a new and improved you at the end!
Here are some areas you can focus on. Of course you don’t have to do ALL of them! Just making progress in one area can help your feelings about yourself and your new life immeasurably!
Meet with a financial planner. You should do this yearly to track your income, expenditures, and investments. Find one you trust and can build a relationship with. This can be especially important if you are going through divorce or have divorced, as you want to have a good handle on your finances for when you negotiate or work to settle.
Remember divorce is a business transaction. Money is the #1 thing couples fight about, and during a heated negotiation or divorce proceedings, this can be a huge trigger for many people. It is important to keep your wits about you while negotiating your financial settlement. Therefore, try to take the emotion out of it entirely [I know, more easily said than done!], and look at it as a business transaction just like you would for your job. This is the only way to remain smart and to get what you need, deserve, and want.
Remember your peace of mind is worth something. If you fight over every dollar in your divorce, you are sacrificing peace of mind. I have friends whose settlement agreements included splitting expenses for the kids 50/50. A year later, they decided it wasn’t worth the contact, the fight, the effort. Their peace of mind was more important. Try to keep this in mind when figuring out your post-divorce finances also.
Join a dating app! Choose just one and commit–really commit–for 30 days. Make sure you use great, current photos of yourself for your bio. That great selfie from 5 years ago doesn’t count. Go all-in on your bio–write a good one that really explains who you are. Once you get some bites, believe what people SHOW you they are! If you can’t get more than a 3 word answer from someone you started chatting with, you should question their level of interest. Move on, girl! You deserve better. Now is the time to decide your boundaries and deal-breakers.
Dust off that resume! Search online for new formats that are used currently and tailor yours to fit that model. Don’t forget the value you have with your life experience as a mom or volunteer–that all counts for something and you should be proud of it, so show it off.
Set a goal for yourself about how many hours a week you will commit to the project. Learn what you can about the position, or practice horseback riding two times a week–whatever the endeavor, do it consistently and in no time you will see results.
Find a way to move your body that feels good for you. Don’t overdo it if it’s your first yoga class or weight-lifting session. Build slowly so you don’t have setbacks.
Get a check-up. Sometimes we neglect our own health because we are so busy taking care of everyone else. This year, commit to being on top of your numbers, and talk openly with your doctor about improvements you can make or treatments you may need.
Visit the dentist. Not a fan of dentists? I get it. But going now is better than losing teeth later. Again, make yourself the priority.
Clear the clutter! Remember that closet that stuff falls out of every time you open the door? Clean it up! Keeping your environment harmonious will help you feel that way emotionally also.
Fix things that have been neglected. Do you have a loose doorknob or a leaky showerhead that you ‘keep meaning to’ fix, but haven’t? Do it now! You will feel very accomplished and that annoyance will be out of your life, at least for now!
Are you moving? Be mindful of what fits and what might not fit in your new residence. Bring with you only items that you love and want to look at all the time. Everything else just saps your energy.
Hire someone to deep-clean your home [or do it yourself!]. How many times do you look at the fan blades or the baseboards and think ‘ew-gotta clean those’ and then never do it? Time to get it done. You will feel lighter, happier, and more satisfied with where you live.
Overall, simply making some short-term goals that are achievable can be a great motivation for moving on to bigger, better, and more long-term goals to help you craft that life you want. So what are you waiting for?
Are you ready to feel joy again, reclaim your independence, and chart a path toward healing and recovery? I would love to help you as you take those steps.
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