If you have been contemplating divorce for a while, and just haven’t made the move, or if you are in the midst of a divorce, you might think you can go it alone. I thought I could, too. I had great friends to rely on, a supportive family, a great attorney and a caring therapist, but I still always felt like I needed that special someone to have my back, but I didn’t. What I needed, though I didn’t know it at the time, was a divorce coach.
I told myself, ‘I should be able to handle this.” Guess what? I learned that during the window of time when I was completely stressed out and my mind was going 1000 miles per hour was NOT the time to decide I could handle it myself. I needed HELP. I couldn’t tell when I was in it, but looking back, I recognize that I was not my best self. Self care was not in my vocabulary. I was forgetful and disorganized. I ate and drank whatever I wanted, didn’t exercise, or get enough [or any] sleep. Chores and laundry were at a bare ‘just to get by’ minimum. I was so overwhelmed at the prospect of all the life-changing decisions for myself and my children that I would be making in the coming months–who cared about laundry?
Your divorce coach can help pull you out of the funk that you are in. A coach can teach you strategies to help you feel empowered and confident, instead of feeling stuck. You need and DESERVE this to help you through this process of divorce. Your kids deserve to have a parent at their best.
A divorce coach knows what you deserve.
>You deserve to have the right team of professionals working for you.
Your coach can help you assemble that team of professionals [financial, legal] to work with you through your divorce. For example, if you are dealing with a high-conflict person who may or may not be hiding financial information from you, you might need a forensic accountant. Someone in a more amicable situation may not. Your coach can help you discern which types of professionals would be suitable for your case. This way, you won’t spend money on hiring people you don’t need, and your money will be put to good use.
>You deserve to be heard.
Your coach can help you separate the emotional aspects from the nuts and bolts legal stuff of divorce. This is a big one. You don’t want to pay your attorney for anything other than ‘attorney’s work’. If you treat your attorney like your coach or therapist, you will pay exponentially more money than you would if you hired a coach. Attorneys aren’t trained to be coaches or therapists anyhow–why would you want that? You deserve better! Chances are, your coach has been there and can be a listening ear when you need it.
>You deserve clarity and information.
Your coach can help you figure out what financial documents you will need, and how to get them if you don’t have them. You will need them to give to your financial consultant or lawyer, but they are not the people to rely on to guide you through this aspect of your divorce. Your coach can help.
>You deserve empowerment.
Your coach will help you set attainable goals to help improve your self esteem and confidence, so you can go into a negotiation session or court feeling powerful and in control because of the knowledge you have. Your coach can help you build confidence, and can work on making a plan with you for how to handle hearings or meetings that come up. You can role-play with your coach and practice what you want to say and how you want to say it. That way, you will be prepared for whatever comes your way.
>You deserve happiness.
Your coach will help you find the new ‘you’ that you may feel has been lost for so long. You and your coach will work out a future plan. You might want to change careers or cities, pick up a new hobby, or start dating–your coach can help with all aspects of the amazing do-over you get to experience in your life! That’s exciting stuff!
I want to be that person who can take you by the hand and help you along this path. I’ve been there, deep in the trenches, and I know all the bumps that will surely be on the road. The difference is, we’ll be on the road together–headed toward a new, reimagined future beyond your wildest dreams!
Divorce does not define you. The actions you take do. If you’re ready to define the future you want for yourself, and to work toward that future, call me.